All the Times I've Been to Surgery

All the times I’ve been to surgery, a synopsis.

The very first time I went to surgery (where I wasn’t anesthetized, that is)

Was in 2017.

It was a fake, scripted surgery

But we still had to scrub in

I wiped down my camera with something that apparently kills the aids virus

Which I thought was very thorough
It was a taste of all the things to come.

The next time I scrubbed into surgery was just as special.

I always get to go to surgery.

Beg and plead for the production coordinator

To put in the schedule
“Take her to surgery.”

Going to surgery in Iraq was very special.

Despite being Italian-trained,
Dr. Aso doesn’t have an anesthesiologist,

So he invented a technique

To do heart catheters

For infants with a local.

The lack of equipment,
the fact that the father brought the child into the sterile field,

The bated breaths in the operating theater…

It was stressful

And successful.

The next time I went to surgery was for HCA

Just a few weeks later.

It was for a woman who was undergoing a surgery

Which I can’t remember what the type was

But it was first one side, then the other.

It was a jarring difference.


Going to surgery has taught me a lot.

I’ve learned that I have capacity for curiosity,

Wonder and compassion

Beyond what I ever thought possible.

I’ve also learned that there are things that come by miracle

And there are things that come by steady hands.

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